February 2010
2 posts
Chain farting
Julian: dude
Justin: ?
Julian: i just farted like 20 times in a row
Julian: like one after another after another
Justin: i'm glad we have these conversations
Julian: pop pop pop
Julian: it was wow
Technology fails him again
Damn I can’t do golden shower in chat : (
January 2010
2 posts
“Oh shit, that’s a belt”
– Drunk, really drunk
New Years text
Friend (girl): Happy new years!
Julian: Kiss my balls...
November 2009
1 post
“If you shoot a burglar, is it just a lot of paperwork to fill out?”
October 2009
1 post
“My idea is sound… all it lacks is time travel.”
September 2009
2 posts
Tasty Farts
Julian: Man, my farts taste delicious
Me: ...really?
Julian: Ya, my farts are making me hungry...like tasty buffalo wings
“No, it’s really for asshole!”
July 2009
3 posts
On Books
Julian: booksyoushouldleaveyourgirlfriendifshehasonhernightstand.com
Justin: you mean booksyoushouldleaveyourgirlfriendforifshehasitonhernightstand.com
Julian: yeah ill cross link it with "justinisagaygrammarfag.com
Justin: dude, you fucking left words
Justin: its like talking with someone who speaks English as a third language
Julian: LOL
Julian: i thought you liked andrew
Justin: this has nothing to do with andrew being a fag
Julian: and btw your sentence "dude, you fucking left words" is confusing me
Julian: did I leave them in the url?
Julian: or leave them out?
Justin: lol. i pulled a you
Julian: =)
Julian: im contagious!
Julian: WTF i spelled it right!
“I planted a seed in Derric”
– I bet you did nancy-boy
“Have you ever swallowed a noodle on accident? It’s like sucking Asian...”
– Ala Top Ramen
April 2009
4 posts
“Dude, you should have seen me in the shower the other day”
– No, no I shouldn’t have.
“I wish I was your cock monger……”
– To the tune of “I Wish I Were and Oscar Myer Weiner”
“It felt spicy but in the wrong ways…”
– Refering to his shit
“I am really, really not against whipping”
– …which explains a lot
March 2009
4 posts
“Man, I’m a creative pinwheel over here”
– …
“Man, I would make the worst girlfriend in the world”
– Yes you would, sweetheart
“Dude, you should have seen me in the shower today!”
– No, I fucking shouldn’t
“Did I ever tell you how I twisted my ovaries?”
– It can actually happen dude
February 2009
6 posts
Fale
Julian: you have kolpophobia:
Julian: the fear of email genetalia
Andrew: lol
Julian: femail
Andrew: femail?
By Request
Julian: o that reminds me
Julian: want to go larping?
Andrew: ...
Andrew: ...
Julian: you can play a warlock
Andrew: is that a preface to you asking me to have gay sex with you?
“My dad called me in the morning `cause my mom was going to help me get...”
– Context is irrelevant
“I’m a walrus!”
– he said with chopsticks in his mouth
“I told you about the, “penis in my ass story in Argentina,” right?”
“I don’t objectify women… i personify there Tits and Ass”
December 2008
6 posts
“I’m an Asian woman!”
– pretty and everything
Justin: you really have to book 3 months in advance?
Julian: its until mark i think
Julian: wait march
Julian: fuck im JESUS!
Poll
Justin: poll: fat people in vests are 1) funnier, 2) as funny or 3) less funny than midgets
Julian: is the midget in a vest?
“My body has been going through some weird changes lately.”
– At the ripe old age of 24.
October 2008
11 posts
Broken Brains
Justin: [shows off some overly complex code]
Julian: ** hand goes up
Julian: ** hand goes down
Julian: ** hand goes up
Julian: ** hand goes down
Julian: ** hand goes up
Julian: ** hand goes up (tricky)
Justin: i have no idea what you're trying to comunicate
Julian: you wannted to be jerked off yeah?
Justin: you're a sick fuck
“God wants us to be together… so we should fuck…”
– His reason for going back to church, and using it as a place of trolling.
“She’s totally hot compared to him.”
– In reference to McCain compared to his wife. I don’t even fucking get it.
On Australia
Julian: nice, that was the fuckin, what's it called....dijery-dingo. . .
Jusitn: boomerang?
Julian: ya!
“We can both get a tandem bike!”
Fucking Larper
Julian: You really don't ever want to role play?
Justin: Excuse me, I have to tumble something.
Julian: Noooo, I'm talking about dungeons and dragons.....make sure you put that in there.
...
Julian: I'm not a larper, I was referring to table-top role playing.
Justin: Excuse me I have to edit something.
On Blocking
Julian: [Andrew] is stupid
Julian: see i blocked you.
Julian: but wanted to tell someone,
Julian: but you were blocked so i couldnt
Julian: so i told him
Out of Context
Justin: unit-tests are your friends
Julian: yes. when you sleep with many women, get your unit tested
Yes, sleep
Justin: a better idea is a seismographic vibrator
Julian: i fucking HATE sleep!
Julian: why the fuck do we need it?!
Julian: im so tired today, it blows monkey nutts
Julian: DOUCHE NOZZLE!
Justin: ...
“Ankle lube?”
– For those ever-dry ankles
On Typoes
Julian: cause theya re all custs
Julian: the s was closer than the n
September 2008
6 posts
Talk like a Pirate Day
Justin: what do Mexican pirates eat at BBQs?
Julian: Andrew?
Justin: that doesn't even make sense
“Paper sticky gold!”
– -In reference to Forever stamps
“Tomorrow if someone asks me “whats up?” I’ll say “not...”
– -Aim
Julian: **goes and kicks a bunny**
Julian: ah thats better.
Justin: ....you should go and fuck a vagina instead
Julian: andrew is at work
On fish tacos
Julian: im hesitant to the idea of fish tacoes
Julian: i don't like fried fish.
Julian: nor the smell of it
Julian: i like raw fish
Julian: and to fuck fish
August 2008
14 posts
“Man, Justin, this is the drunkest you’ve seen me in a couple days!”
– He drinks way too much
Rubix Cube Anger
Julian: MAN NOW I REALLY LOST IT
Julian: oops
Justin: ...
Julian: cubes make me angry